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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Restless.

I have been home for about a month now. Probably the longest month that has ever flown by. I say that because when I think about my road trip home, it feels like all of that happened so long ago. But, I'm also wondering where June went? Don't get me wrong, It is nice not doing anything of importance on a daily basis. I have a very nice little daily routine set up for myself that involves improving my mind, body, and soul. I have been taking classes, waking up and going to the gym daily, and trying (not hard enough) to improve my relationship with God. All of these things are great and I love having a routine. I haven't been spending enough time with people that I have missed while I was away though. This may very well be the last summer I am home, I really plan on being off and doing something epic the next summer ahead. This is really the last time I have time to spend quality time with life-long friends here and it's just not the same. Some things never change, but we do grow up and maybe grow apart. Most of us have taken the last year to get out and see other places and experience new things and new people that they haven't known almost their entire life. We've seen that the world is larger than Tahlequah, OK and while it is home, there are better things out there. On the other hand, some of us have gone out there and stumbled a bit, now they have returned home a little more jaded than before. Life is stagnant here, change is not welcomed, people may not be happy with their lives, but they're going to continue living the same way in most cases. It's not a very inspiring environment for an ambitious dreamer like me. Now I see why Rae thought I was so passive aggressive in comparison to her. Everyone has that attitude here. In some cases I am the pushy one, because someone has to be to get anything done around here. People operate on "Indian time" which is basically a synonym for sometime, eventually, or lets just sit and watch our lives pass us by. 

I am starting to miss my somewhat glamorous life or at least eventful life away from here. I miss dressing up and going places, I miss having a full calendar, and I miss feeling like a grown up. I do have to admit that this trip home has been a lot better than others when it comes to my relationship with my mom. I finally figured out that being a mature adult requires me to follow by the rules of the house. When I respect the parents and their rules, they respect me. Yes, I have to be home at midnight but we get along and that is better than staying out at all hours. 

Tomorrow morning I am leaving for Milwaukee, WI to go to a Concert Management Institute for the weekend. UIB is sending me on an all expenses paid trip to learn some skills for Wahoo next year. I will also have the opportunity to tour some concert venues and behind the scenes Summerfest, as well as see the Mindiola's and Kate Spurr! I am in total denial of my trip, that is why I am blogging instead of getting things ready for tomorrow. 

That's my rant for the day, until next time...

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